I’m certainly not uniquely qualified to answer this question just because I’m in the field of teaching accent reduction. I personally wouldn’t judge anyone who has an accent. On the contrary, I’m amazed and inspired by how much people can do. I’m always impressed when I see the results of someone who has dedicated themselves to the pursuit of some goal or some field. Most of my pursuits have been in creative fields — acting, writing, and music – and then in the last 20 years into coaching and accent reduction work. When I come across some masterfully written article written by someone who has dedicated their life to a particular field of study and become an expert at it, I’m amazed at the power of the human spirit. I feel the same way when I see or hear a master musician.
I think part of what inspires me in these cases is the achievement, but also the knowledge that to reach that level, the person never gave up. Or perhaps they did give up momentarily, but then they somehow returned to the pursuit of their goal.
In terms of an accent, what exactly does an accent mean? Setting aside the fact that there are some people who study accent reduction because they have a regional accent in their first language, an “accent” would mean that someone is speaking in a second language. An accent means someone is speaking a language that has certain differences from their first language, and some of those differences are noticeable when they speak the second language. The most obvious example of this is a letter substitution. The first example that comes to mind is the sound IH as in “BIT.” This sound does not exist in many other languages, and is very common in English. Along with the schwa, it’s probably one of the top five phonemes I work on with clients, if not one of the top two. Most languages have a sound that is very similar to IH, but is much closer to the English sound EE (as in “MEET”). So if someone says a word that in standard English is pronounced with IH, such as the word “this,” with the substitute sound EE, that sound will be considered an “accent.”
So why would anyone judge that? If the person can express themselves perfectly in English (and in at least one other language), why would anyone be anything other than impressed by that? Or imagine a different scenario — a person who speaks hardly any English, struggling to communicate an idea – why wouldn’t anyone be impressed by the fact that they are being brave, and that they are trying their best, and that they have at least started on their journey? Or at the very least, why wouldn’t someone be empathetic to a person who might be struggling to learn a language, or living somewhere where they don’t speak the standard language very well? It only takes a moment of really imagining being in someone else’s shoes to feel natural empathy for them.
I read something great yesterday. This is from a blog that outlines mental models — several core models that can help in making better decisions. I had no idea I would end up referencing this when I started writing this article this morning, but this particular model really struck me when I read it.
The model is called “Hanlon’s Razor” and it states that we should not interpret something as malice that could more easily be explained by stupidity. This really affected me when I read it. The article goes on to say that this thinking helps us in a complex world to avoid paranoia and ideology.
So, yes, there could be any number of reasons a person might judge an accent. I understand the logic of the necessity to talk about an injustice in order to bring it to light. We can’t pretend those people don’t exist. But I also see the value in allowing for the possibility that there is something else at work if someone looks at someone speaking with an accent for a second too long.
Unfortunately, if in the past you’ve ever been made to feel bad because of the way you spoke or your accent, such an experience can really stick with you. It can affect you in any number of ways— it could make you shrink down and get small, or it could make you defensive and angry because you don’t ever want to be made to feel that way again. I still remember, more than 25 years ago going into a coffee shop and very quietly placing my order. I don’t know why I was so quiet. Perhaps I had been inside writing for days, not speaking to a soul or even myself, and this was my first contact with the public (the coffee shop located 5 literal feet from my door). Clearly my voice was not warmed up. In response to my meek utterance, the attendant barked at me “What???” As an actor, we talk a lot about subtext — always asking what the meaning is behind what a character is saying. The subtext is never provided directly in the script. The writer doesn’t write in “here is your subtext…” It’s the actor’s job and the directors job to interpret the subtext. If an actor just speaks their lines without any awareness to subtext, the subtext is probably not going to come through, and the writer’s story won’t effectively be told. So I spent a lot of time, back then especially, thinking about subtext. And maybe I spent too much time reading into what people were saying. Trying to guess what people meant by the way they said something, also called “assuming.” So maybe I read too much into it back then, but to me I still remember that “What?” was filled with a subtext of the flavor: What’s wrong with you? I can’t hear anything you’re saying! What a loser you are! Why are you mumbling?! Speak up!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!!
And I was speaking my first language. English. We both were. And it felt terrible.
I’ve seen too many examples of people not treating others who aren’t fluent in the local language with proper respect. I’ve seen this in my travels, experiencing some of it first-hand, and I’ve seen some of it at home. When I can step in, and help, I do. In terms of my experiencing it first-hand as a traveler, some of the negative experiences have stayed with me. But fortunately those memories have faded down a bit. More vibrant in my memory are the people who stood up for me, or encouraged me, even went so far as to tell me how well I was speaking their language (maybe a little white lie in my case, but at least I was doing my best, and they were kind and compassionate to me).
So why do people judge? Lots of reasons, as we know, but it’s important to be open to the possibility that what feels like judgement might not be. It might feel that way because of the one or two people who ruined things a bit for us with their unkindness — whether it was this morning or last week or last month or even many years ago.
In recent years I’ve learned a lot of helpful information in the field of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and what are called cognitive distortions. The idea is that we tend to take certain mental shortcuts as we navigate the world. One cognitive distortion is called mind reading, and it is defined as assuming we know what someone is thinking, when we don’t have enough information to go on. Sounds exactly like what I did in that coffee shop back in 1990-something, doesn’t it? And of course, I may have been right. I think that guy was judging me. Or maybe not “judging,” that’s too strong of a word — he was annoyed by me and spoke in an unkind way. And you may be right too , if you encounter someone and feel like they may be judging you. But I will say that it was helpful for me to learn about mind reading. Nowadays I try to catch myself when I do it. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume the worst about them. One of the problems with mind reading if it becomes a regular pattern is that we sometimes misinterpret what people are saying. It is also said that it can negatively affect our mood and lead to social anxiety. It’s sometimes fun to play a game of challenging our assumptions, by asking simple questions: I think that guy spoke to me like that because he’s judging the way I spoke, but what other possibilities are there? If you spend a few minutes answering a question like this, you quickly get to a bunch of possibilities that have nothing to do with you. (i.e. He’s having the worst morning of his life./ His partner just broke up with him./ He talks to everyone that way and has no idea he’s even doing it./ His best friend is in the hospital and he has to work and he’s really scared right now.)
So in answer to the original question, “do people judge me if I have an accent?” Maybe sometimes some people do. And that’s not nice and it’s really their problem. But if that has happened to us in the past, we can easily start to imagine it’s happening sometimes when really there might be something else going on. Maybe they truly aren’t understanding us. Some people are better than others at understanding different ways of speaking — different accents and intonation patterns. Some people have difficulty understanding speech that isn’t very standard. Some people can’t hear well. Maybe we need to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to say what we’re saying in a different way to get them to understand. Maybe we need to slow down and speak slowly and clearly. If they were being impatient, hopefully they’ll get a clue and try harder to understand. It’s good not to jump to conclusions and assume they are the same people who seemed to judge us in the past.
Finally, since I just revisited the book a couple days ago, I have to mention “Being Peace”* by Thich Nhat Hanh. In the chapter “Working for Peace” the author talks about the need for compassion and understanding, even for those who do wrong. Don’t let anyone interfere with your speaking in your own true voice. Don’t let anyone deter you from your goals and dreams. Not everything that feels like judgement or criticism necessarily is. And if someone is judging you or your speech, please don’t let that change you or change your heart.
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