No, it’s not just you! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this. And I’ve experienced the feeling as well. So don’t worry, you’re not the only one. There’s no quick fix for this, but there are some things we can do to understand why we can’t hear the difference between certain sounds. And then once we know that, we can take steps to change it so that we can hear the difference between certain sounds, and then learn to say those sounds ourselves with accuracy and precision.
One of my earliest memories of this concept was not as a teacher, but as a non-speaker of Russian. A good friend of mine was Russian and he told me how English speakers somehow couldn’t hear the difference between the sound “SH” and the sound “SH.” In English there’s not really any other way to write the second sound. I supposed I could change the color or make it bold, or italicize it. But I would still have to use the letters “SH.” Herein lies the problem in transliterating certain sounds. And this is exactly why it can be so difficult to hear and say sounds in other languages. This reality was particularly disappointing to my friend because the sound was in his first name. He liked his name and the way it sounded. But when he moved to New York, everyone would say his name with the “SH” sound — not the right “SH” sound, the wrong “SH” sound. And it just didn’t sound right. So he decided to go by a different nickname – still based on his name, but totally different. As we became good friends, he told me his name in Russian, along with this story, and how for some reason no American speakers were able to say his name right because they would always say “SH” instead of “SH.”
I stared at him blankly. Tentatively I asked, “What sound?”
He explained, “they say ‘SH.’ But it’s not ‘SH,’ it’s ‘SH.’”
I could tell he was doing something different. He sort of made a different mouth position when he said the second “SH.” Maybe the first “SH” kind of went forward, and the second one was a little louder, his mouth moving downward a bit. But to my ear (as someone who spoke both English and English) the only way I could identify the first sound was as “SH.” And unfortunately the only way I could identify the second sound was as “SH.” Sure, a slightly different “SH.” He was clearly doing something different. But he wasn’t doing anything to make it a different sound. So as much as I wanted to say “Oh, I’m not like ‘them’ — I clearly hear the difference, it’s so obvious, one is ‘SH’ and the other is ‘SH,’” instead all I could really offer was a sheepish “I can’t really hear the difference.”
Now, this wasn’t a deal-breaker in our friendship, but let’s just say he was shocked. I’m sure he tried one more time, saying “One is ‘SH,’ the other is ‘SH,’” hoping I would finally wake up and see the light, but no…. sorry… I mustered up another sad “I don’t really hear the difference.”
Now if he had added his voice to SH and said ZH, that would have been different to me. “Oh, I totally hear the difference,” I would have said. Or if he had said “One is ‘SH’ and the other is ‘CH’” that would have been obvious too.
But the closest sound in English to this “other SH” sound was still “SH.” So I couldn’t hear the difference and I couldn’t speak the difference. I might have been able to guess and just use my ear to say them differently. Maybe I would get lucky and the sound I came up with would be close. But without a specific explanation or understanding of how to make the sound, even if I made it right once, I would not have been able to consistently recreate it.
It’s amazing to me how common this thinking pattern is this — doubting or blaming ourselves, because we can’t hear the difference between two sounds, assuming we’re lacking in some ability. I guess here I have the advantage of having heard this same expression of concern from countless students. It’s important to know it’s not just you; it’s just about everyone.
One thing to make use of for similar sounds is a recording of your own voice. There are steps you can take to learn the different sounds. Many of the sounds of English will already be the same as or very similar to sounds in your first language. Those will come quickly and easily. Then there will be sounds that might be very different from anything that exists in your first language. But once you practice making those sounds by following detailed instructions of what to do with the articulators, you’ll start to feel comfortable with those sounds as well. Words drills and then sentence drills will make you more and more comfortable with making the sounds.
Sounds for which you can’t yet distinguish one from the other are more challenging to acquire and can be frustrating at times. It’s good to be aware of this and not expect to master those sounds right away. Remember there are some sounds that you already had or were able to acquire very quickly. You could think that all of the extra time you saved with those sounds you can put into acquiring these more challenging sounds. A lot of skill set acquisition is like that — some skills come very quickly and easily; others take a bit more time. Once you get them all, they all work together.
Remember that most people learned to speak their first language simply by hearing others. It’s easy to think that native speakers of a language can easily explain to us how they are making certain sounds. But in most cases they haven’t spent much time thinking about it, and they just don’t know. It’s easy to get frustrated or imagine they are withholding information from us. I’m sure if my friend could have explained the difference between “SH” and “SH” he would have happily done so, at the very least so I could say his name correctly.
Funnily the same reaction on one side (i.e. “How can you not hear the difference between these sounds?”) is usually met with an equal and opposite reaction on the other side (i.e. “What makes you think I can hear any difference? You’re saying the exact same thing twice!”).
So this is where we have to get extremely detailed in examining exactly how certain sounds are made. The teacher has to understand that in the student’s first language these are the SAME sound. If the student had to write the words, they would be written the same.
The sound IH (as in “BIT”) does not exist in many languages. The nearest substitute is the sound EE (as in “BEAT”) — a sound which is common in many languages. The tongue and mouth position are very similar for the two sounds. But they are different. The sound IH is made with a slightly lower tongue position. The mouth is slightly more open for the IH. I’ve heard a quick and (overly) simplified explanation that the sound IH is just a shorter version of the sound EE. (This is not completely true, since as we said the mouth and tongue position is different as well. But if someone focuses on the point that the sound IH is shorter, that will usually get them closer to making the correct sound.)
For the student, I think one of the most important things is to identify when you are working on one of these “I can’t hear the difference” sounds. You’ll know this is the case if you would have to use the same letters of the alphabet of your first language to describe these sounds. So if this is the case, understand it’s going to likely take a bit more time and detailed focus.
Understand also that failure is part of the learning process. If you start going through a sound or word list and you are making the sound correctly, and then you say the sound incorrectly in the next word, that doesn’t mean you’re not getting it. It’s really hard to even call that a “failure.” That’s a normal part of the process. You needed that to happen in order to have the chance to try again and for your mind to understand “Okay, that was wrong, but now this is right.”
Word lists that I have created, some of which you’ll find on this site, intentionally have many sound combinations. This makes it more challenging at first, and increases the possibility that you won’t get everything right the first time you go through a list. If you start to become comfortable with the sound IH, that’s great. You want to recognize that progress so that you can build on it. You also want to recognize it and reward yourself at least with acknowledgement so that you’re encouraged to continue. But as you practice the same sound in words, then longer words, then sentences, it will become more challenging. Even early on in the sound drills stage, you may be comfortable saying the sound IH by itself. You may be comfortable then saying the same sound with a P sound and then a B sound before it. P and B are made with the lips. You can keep the tongue arch exactly the same as when you said IH by itself. Just close the lips and say P and IH at the same time. When you get to the sound T and D, and then K and G, before the sound IH, this will be more challenging. The tongue must move to say these consonants and then move back to the proper position for the sound IH. You might still say these sounds perfectly the first time. But that’s not the ultimate goal.
The goal is to be able to say all of the sounds and words. But they don’t have to be said correctly the very first time you say them. It’s okay if the learning of the material is a process. Just keep at it. Making the wrong sound doesn’t mean that you don’t get it, or that you won’t ever get it, or that it’s too hard, or that you can’t hear the difference. You might occasionally feel any of those things. You might sometimes say “I thought I was starting to hear the difference, but now I have no idea.” All that is a normal part of the process. Keep going forward with it.
Occasionally record yourself and listen back. I’ve seen this over and over again: something sort of magical happens when someone hears their own speaking played back for them. They may have thought they couldn’t do something. Maybe we drilled something last week, but now they believe they have forgotten and they can’t do it. Then, as soon as they hear the recording, it’s like their brain immediately understands everything and takes on the attitude: “Oh, okay, that’s me, that’s right I can do that, how do I re-create that, I just say this” – and then seemingly without giving it another thought, they are able to go right back to the correct sound. Apparently they really did still have the ability — but it was not yet in their reflexes. It was not something they could recall with their conscious mind in order to do it. But as soon as they heard it, it’s like the unconscious mind was able to re-create it with that minimal bit of information (a minute or so of the recording).